It's been four or five days since B left. The first day I started cleaning up the house and moved my study station upstairs to the lounge since that is warmer because of the heater. That day, I didn't get to study at all. The next day I studied a little but mainly watched Manifest. Day after that, I realized I had gotten used to the way things were before in the dining room downstairs so I moved all my stuff back and added an electric heater. Some studying started to happen but then A's mum had an accident and she wasn't available and the other study partner is still sick with something so it's been not a very productive week study wise.
At the clinic though, I've been quite busy. So busy that I've started feeling the stare you get from the other shift coworkers who feel like you're getting all the patients, or at least the easy ones. But I can't be bothered with that. Money is important, yes but that doesn't have to be your only driving force.
Speaking of driving, my car had been making these strange noises for a couple of weeks now that I'd been too lazy to get checked. Turns out the body's rusted from underneath the engine bay and the engine's tore through and is partially suspended on the framework now. It's going to cost a lot to fix and at least a full day so I was thinking of taking tomorrow off as I have no appointed patients but decided against it because I want to mull it over a little bit? The mechanic said it's okay you can keep driving for now so I still have time.
I made channa pulao the other day because the rice B made had finished and I showed Miss Sadia the picture and she's like when are you bringing some for me so tomorrow I'm making matar pulao and taking some for her as well. Oh yeah, I eat peas now. I did a whole pea hater post aeons ago but what can I say. I've changed.
Living alone after so long has made me realize how much I missed it. How much of an introvert I am even with my own family and how much it takes out of me when I don't get the time and solitude that I need to just be and do the little things that make me happy.
Even if it's something as simple as a blog post.
On the other end of the spectrum however is the unquenchable thirst for the attention that you yearn for from a loved one. I've forgotten what it feels like yet I know what it feels like and I spend most of my free time yearning for it when I know I shouldn't. Such is life.
Nights are still the hardest. The day passes by someway or the other but come night and everything just starts hitting you where it hurts the most. I don't know where this post turned but it's becoming darker and darker with each sentence so I suppose I'd better stop now. 11122.
It's all that little green dot's fault.
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