All too well.

I realized not too recently the importance of having friends in your life. Before that, I'd just been blindly stumbling around on my own. And by friends I don't really mean people who hang out with you or shoot the shit, but people who actually take out the time to get to know you and talk about the things that matter to you. But what's beating me up right now is the fact that they all leave, or you do, one day or the other. You spend so much time and energy into getting to know and being comfortable with someone and then suddenly they're not really in your life anymore. Not like before anyway. 

I've been picking and dropping Paige off on the way to and from work, partly because she did the same for me when I was roughing it on trains and buses everyday and partly because she's become such a good friend and now I realize I have to stop working and sit down and study for the next 4 months or so and I'm so terribly sad. She loves Taylor Swift and so that's what my spotify has been playing so I have a new favourite, which we found out today is her favourite as well. 

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well? Uggh. I'm a teenage girl at heart. 

I took the scenic route back from work today because they let me off early as my status is currently in limbo. They don't want to give me the three months off I asked for and they don't want me to quit either so they couldn't decide so I offered to continue working for two more weeks and complete my formal term in case I have to leave permanently. But I'm getting tired of all this leaving now. I crave permanence and stability now. There's been too much change happening in my life for the past few months. Most of it has been so very good but it's still a lot to take in at times. And then I go read my note from Albus. About me pseudo-aplha-ing my way out of there and it makes me smile and cry at the same time. 

Keep nurturing your heart she said. Be kind to yourself. Learn to appreciate the little things in life. Celebrate with joy. It'll be all right.