It's not the full moon but it's hard to tell unless you're looking really closely at it. I have a hundred different thoughts in my head right now but hammering them out into coherent, organized paragraphs is making me panic. My phone has stopped buzzing for two days now. I think it's time to bury that phase.
This weird space that blogger puts before the first word of the first paragraph bugs me. I think I have a thing for political dramas. I suffered through Beef but I've watched half of the diplomat in one go today. I could have gone on but I was hungry and my head was too full and it's nearly 3 a.m. and I should stop.
I really think I'm the bees knees when it comes to work these days. Even though I've made a few mistakes not in the very distant past, I just feel in my element now when I'm doing root canals or even fillings. Extractions of course, will always top the list. But I'd rather skip the dull, laborious work of root planings now for a tricky, nail biting root canal. Strange.
Lately I've taken to just going over all the day's cases in my head. Just pressing play and watching every step I did in fast forward. I think I find it relaxing.
Speaking of, I'm obsessing over TF's mb2. All the mb2s I've done so far have been different. Either I haven't found any altogether or if I have, I've been able to deal with them efficiently. This one though was different. I found it, but couldn't negotiate it, so I just picked at it a bit with rotary, which now after watching an hour of Ruddle, I know wasn't the best of ideas. I have a plan though. She's turning out to be one of the few patients that I actually end up praying for.
The 70 year old with a knee replacement whose daughter told me she was a chicken but they lovingly called her Shairu - broke down and told me her story. I don't know what it is. Who even opens up to their dentist, of all people? Shairu has six daughters. All for trying for a son. Who was born at last. But tragically died in an accident when he was 7. She now lives with her eldest who is physically handicapped. It took everything I had to steer her away from the topic and make her focus on happier things.
April has been weird. I pray for good things from May. I don't want to become inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. I want to change the world, I know it sounds ridiculous but there you have it. I want to die, having done something worthwhile. I don't think it'll be in dentistry though. I'm on a mission then to find my calling. I know that's not what life's really about and it depends more on what sort of a day to day person you are and how you are with people and being selfless and charming - but I want something else too. I want a defining moment. A singularity.
We'll end this one abruptly. Apparently, that's something we're quite good at too.
No comments:
Post a Comment