At least the weed is legal.

Life comes with a whole different set of troubles here. Forcing yourself to learn an entirely different way of living at 32 is proving to be more challenging than I thought it would be. There was so much going on that I've shut everything down except the essentials, or at least that's what I'm trying to do.

I think you'd have to be a certain kind of mad to get into dentistry in the first place. You'd have to be really bonkers to go ahead and specialize in it too. You'd have to be really unhinged, psychopath level gaga to do what I'm trying to do now. But why the hell are there so many other people who seem to be equally mad as me? There's a Professor from a university in Karachi who's almost bald and is sitting listening to the same lectures as me, day in day out, seven days a week.  The kind of detail we're expected to remember and the level of information that we're supposed to cram? It is so not worth it. I'm teetering on the edge of insanity here. (yet again, for the zillionth time in my life)

These exams are going to take me three years if I'm lucky, five years if I'm not. I now understand the kind of privileged life that is the norm back home. We were surviving there without having to think about it, albeit on the edge of destruction. Here, so far, it's doing everything you can to stay afloat and make it to the next day, which is going to be equally hard, if not harder. 

There are no arguments that can console me. I don't know why I'm doing all this. If I were to not wake up tomorrow, frankly, I'd be relieved.