Poison.

Today, the overwhelming feeling is that I've thrown my life away. Rather, I was never really living it in the first place. It was all a race about getting ahead and doing what society used to think was essential to be successful. Why in blazes did I want to be a doctor? I wanted to be a scientist or an engineer. So much is going to come out when I'll finally be able to afford therapy.

It took travelling across the seven seas for me to realize how I really want to spend my time. Doing nothing. 33 years old and I have nothing useful to show for it. Sure, I can do an excellent filling or an amazing root canal and I can save your tooth. But none of it really matters.

I want to lounge around doing nothing. Just reading and travelling and going on adventures. But then who would do the work that needs to be done? But that's not really my responsibility, is it? Maybe that's how successful people think. 

At 33 years I'm still trying to be eligible to practice dentistry in a new country. If I'm lucky I'll be able to do that by when I'm about 35 years old. People here at 22 have a house and a car to their name, all from their hard or smart work and then just focus on enjoying their lives and really living. 

Me? I'm stuck feeling worthless in a career, a relationship and life.