Dark Skies.

It's a slow Saturday at the clinic. I collected all the good x-rays of work I've done the past few weeks. Need to upload them now and get likes on them. My glasses popped yesterday. There I was minding my own business and then suddenly there's a pop and the frame cracks from one side. I went to the shop next to the clinic and I'm getting new ones made. Chose a different frame this time. Also getting lenses for my loupes. I need to order a new headlight too. I'm yawning away like crazy. 

Clinic has been traumatic the past few weeks. At first I was just frustrated with making almost the same as everyone else despite pulling considerably longer hours and putting so much effort in. Then I couldn't just wrap my head around the fact that in the past few months, our currency depreciated 40%. So if someone is still getting paid a 100K it's only worth 60k now, without factoring in the 31.5% inflation. The real cherry on top came when I was hurt by a few things GM said to me on different occasions and I voiced it - behind his back - involuntarily - and in earshot of his son, whom I forgot was in the next room and the walls are so thin. That really turned ugly and I've been meaning to kind of apologize, I've planned the whole speech in my head but the opportune moment hasn't come. In between all this, I had a fury episode at the clinic too when nothing seemed to be working and I questioned why it wasn't and ended up offending everyone. For that I've made amends and promised to be nicer to everyone. 

There was a draw last week with a cut off score just one more than ours. This comes when we've already spent money and effort on the longer route. The plan now is to pray that the next round includes us and happens soon so we can cancel the longer application before they start working on it and be eligible for a refund. It sounds simple but there are so many intricacies involved but that's about the gist of it.

The slightest go-ahead will need me to start applying for new exams and more paperwork and planning. Almost 32 and not being able to focus on a career here because you know it's all doom here no matter how much effort you make - coupled with the uncertainty and massive challenge of starting a new life and practically a new career in a land, far, far away - and then you, me and dupree. 

Sometimes I feel what's really missing in life is adult relationships. Adult friends. You're lucky if you find a friend in your partner. You're lucky if you find friends in your siblings. You're lucky if you find friends at the workplace. But then the stoic in me says, shut up and stay focused, S. You haven't deserved the right to live your life yet. 

R and I aren't friends anymore. It was a long time coming and we're both just sad about it, nothing else. 

For now, I'm thankful for my new shoes, good books to read and my bottle of Mel. (even though I'm still figuring out how to not miss the window and succumb to her calling at the right time)