Today before clinic we were feeding Hazu breakfast and A asks me how we want to plan going to this wedding in the hometown a couple of weekends later. As in like we usually go after clinic and I don't take time off so I'm spending more time there and more chances of getting patients. My answer today though surprised me. I'm like the clinic's not my priority anymore.
Which is true when I think about it. I'm just so done with the place. I don't think I've even been late without reason to the clinic but today it was almost eleven and I just didn't want to leave the house or even hurry up a little. Usually I'm there on time even if I don't have any patients. I know this lackluster attitude is going to come back and bite me in the ass but I just don't feel up to it anymore. Something's broken permanently inside of me, lol.
On Friday I called them to say I wouldn't be coming because Hazu was sick and so was A. It's mostly better if I look after Hazu because A's workplace is also home so she never really gets out of work mode unless it's essential. It was all going well until I got a call from my distant orthodontist cousin who's visiting from Canada and I wanted to see him too since he's cleared the boards there and everything and is like a ready roadmap for me to follow. So I took Hazu with me. It turned out to be a three hour long thing because he loves to talk and there were other people too and you can't just finish your dinner and leave, right? Anyways, I got a steak and burnt my palate properly in the rush to eat. Like I could literally peel off keratinized tissue with my tongue and now there are ulcers all over. It hurts to eat or drink anything and everything.
I'm distracted now because they asked me to do a bone graft and suture up an implant case. Scut work. Not getting paid. But surgery work I don't mind at least it's interesting. Delivering lab work is the worst. Especially if its not your own case. Giving local is also a bother. Especially in patients who flinch at the slightest touch and who you're not even going to work on yourself.
I need more soul massage movies to watch. Oh and I'm glad I went to dinner despite the palate burning incident. He's made me less afraid of what lies ahead. The only goal now is to get there safely and in time.
2 comments:
All the best with your future endeavors!
We recently watched Standing Up, Falling Down –– if you can find it, it's a lovely healing film.
Thank you, T.
I found a peerless torrent that's stuck on 0.0 percent. I'll just give it some time, I guess.
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