Under Armour.

This blog has a total of three readers after I deleted and restored it and made it harder to find circa the privacy scare 2020. A doesn't care about blogs or rather about the written word. She says her economics textbooks scarred her for life. I have a surgery friend who I wouldn't mind reading this but she's too social and busy raising a toddler and running a clinic to have time even though she's highly intelligent and literary minded too. Proof, she passed her FCPS yesterday. We studied together during my last attempt which meant that I'd mostly be the one teaching her. Yesterday when she passed, I felt like I'd passed again. 

Two of my colleagues didn't make it through the viva. One other, the significant one, is appearing today. We haven't talked in two years now except when I broke the silence on her clearing her written. Driving to work today, I found myself saying a little prayer for her. It's devastating if you don't pass after getting so far. Of the four of us who did training together, me and one guy made it last time. The other guy failed yesterday. I really hopes she makes it today.

There's one other surgery friend who I'd even hoped would read my ramblings but she's too busy too. Bad busy. The kind of busy that comes with final year residency when you're at work at eight in the morning, scrubbed in on every case and on the road most of the time after and then looking after your supervisor's practice till late at night, doing all the scut work. Bad busy also means being in a bad place. I wish we were the kind of friends that me and A could just pick her up and take her mind of things somehow but we're not. I wanted to write me alone but that would be mighty bold of me.

This is starting to feel more and more like a confession post. I have a tricky surgical in twenty minutes. I'm overthinking a filling I did yesterday and two more that I have to do tomorrow. 

I feel the relationship evolving time is upon us. Things are changing, even going sour maybe? I wish I could tell. I'm too awkward to handle it all. Time to think of a title and hit publish.